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Now that I’m entering perimenopause, menopause, whatever you want to call it, a second chapter or tenth considering my life, I’m really looking back and learning so much about myself.
For so long people thought I was too brash, too bold, mean, controlling, or even a b!tch.
They were prob right. Maybe I was too intense, spoke my mind, more than they could handle.
I was practically at war. Three kids, very little help. Financially or physically. I got child support for one out of 3, I had no family here and I worked 3 jobs so my kids never felt what it was like to live with a single mom who made one poor choice after another.
I was fighting for my life and theirs.
And now that I’m no longer at war, I’m reflecting. Who left me on the front line. Who criticized me while I did it. Who should have and could have offered support and didn’t.
Which takes me to who would I be? Who would I be and would have been had I picked the right husband from the start. Who would I be had I had someone to help me discipline, pay bills, take the load off, and do life like God designed.
Maybe I would have been softer. Maybe I would have been slower to speak and slower to anger. Maybe I would have been more patient. Maybe I wouldn’t have made so many mistakes.
But here we are. I don’t regret a lot. This was my path, this was my journey. I’ve learned a lot. I’m a great person who raised amazing kids and I’ve done well for myself. To the best of my ability. Considering.
Now, I’m more selective. I won’t go back to war. I’ve done my fair share. I paid my dues.
I’m ready for peace.
But if you’re someone who has felt at war for years, your break is coming. Keep fighting the good fight. Do it for your kids.
Protecting them and raising them is worth every battle wound.
I want to be someone who cheers you on. Bc the front line is rough. The battle rages. The supplies are limited.
But the efforts. They are worth it. And you’ll be so proud of what you accomplished. But don’t forget. What you’re capable of. The character built. What you survived. Who you became.
I’m ready to see what this future holds. Where I just relax, hold my babies and celebrate my victory. 🤍
Yall. Tonight Dustin cooked us a Filet mignon steak picnic dinner on the boat.
I don’t think I have ever had so much fun on the boat.
We drove up the river to the lake and beached, floated and cooked out. Like absolute heaven.
I bought this @glitterville picnic basket years ago. Haven’t used it once. Until tonight. And now it will be my go to!
There just isn’t anything this man can’t cook. On any grill ever. Bc this boat grill gets HOT. So of course he was like “ I can’t guarantee how this is gonna turn out” and I was like “I have faith in you”.
Hold his beer and watch this! Perfection.
New date night level unlocked. 💙🩵💙
Another Saturday. Same River. New victims.
Teaghen and Hunters friends came up from Houston to hang with us this weekend.
Party on the Pontoon!
Cruising down to Whitney to eat lunch and check out the restaurants. Then headed back to float and grill out.
Dont call, Dont Write. On DND. ✌🏼
Some one suggested we use headphones. I do not know why we hadn’t thought of this! These are the things my community is so good at! Obvious things that when your mind is scrambled, searching for connections, patterns and answers, the obvious is out of reach somehow.
Not sure how he would do, so we have been practicing with Dustin’s AirMax. I think he likes it! We aren’t ready to take him somewhere noisy yet until we feel everything is under control (baby steps), but if we get him used to the headphones it will be a game changer in public. Like games, or public events where he gets over stimulated.
Thanks again to my amazing support system. Yall are the absolute best! 🎧
