Some days I wasn’t sure I would ever find this. Some days I wondered if I was too far gone.
Getting married is easy. Divorce will wreck you.
But multiple times just numbs you.

I actually had to work harder at staying married than divorcing. Once you have divorced, all the what Ifs, the unknowns, the fear all leaves you.

In fact, you become more confident in you. I knew I could count on me. I saw what I was capable of.

Would I ever be able to have a normal relationship. Was I capable? Do I deserve it?

Dustin and I have no kids together, we are independently financially stable, we don’t owe each other anything. We choose this.

We have had to learn how to love after loss. Over come insecurities, distrust, wounds and self protection.

Add some blended families, some businesses and very different upbringings and boy did we have a lot to talk about.

But there is hope. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to live in fear.
But you do have to be vulnerable.

You have to be so stripped down to not fear rejection that you can let someone love you all while knowing you don’t need them to. You already know what you’re capable of. You know you can be content with just you.

So you choose that partnership. It’s no longer what if they hurt me or leave me, it’s what if I find true peace, joy and happiness.

Its appreciating someone and what you have after all the wrong turns and missteps.
And boy am I glad I took that chance.

Standing before him, as I was, as he was. Unpacking all our baggage little by little.

And now I forgot what being on my own feels like. I can’t recall the hyper independence.

Bc the safety of my husband is the only thing I feel now. 💜

Years ago we took a vacation where there was an outdoor shower and let me tell yall, it’s one of the most exhilarating things you can do. Raw in nature.
So when we built we put an outdoor shower on the back. It’s great for pool days, grandkids, dogs and rinsing after gardening and what not.

But you can not strip down. My neighbors may be far but it’s not private. So I told my husband I wanted a cedar enclosure.

Per usual, he comes home with the wood and goes to town. He also put me a beautiful rain shower in. It’s turning out so cute! And I can’t wait to decorate it. And take my first outdoor private shower! I may even let him in 🫠

I want to tell you something.
A little story time if you will.

I left home at 18. Married at 19. Divorced 6 months later. Remarried. 2 kids. Divorced. Married again. 1 kid. Divorced again. Married. Divorced. Married.

I didn’t get child support for 15 years. I got minimum for 3. My kids didn’t spend the night outside my home for 12 years. My mom told me she was too young to be a grandma.

I put myself through hair school. I paid for it. Wes helped me and paid his child support. His mother was a huge help even after we split. But….it was mostly me. I worked 7 days a week. 12 hour days. My 20 year clients will attest to how hard and how much I worked.
Then I started the wine crawl. I did that. I had help along the way but my long days and long nights while I had 3 kids, a full time job and making sure my kids didn’t miss a single thing and were in comp cheer through it all. Insert two more kids, one with special needs.

This house. I built it. My husband and I worked and built it. But he will tell you I did most of it.
My salon and studio. Also me.

I do not want to take credit away from my husband but this is about me right now. This is to show you what a little girl with out a college education, who didn’t have much family support, who’s family lived 4 hours and 9 hours away, not one single parent or sibling with in reach, or family member near, who already ruined her credit by 21, and people preying on her demise could do.

People have said I’m too much. I’m too little. I’m not enough. I’m everything in between. I’m too open, I’m too public, I’m too much drama. I’m TOO MUCH.

Well, I’m enough. I raised 3 amazing girls, helped raise 2 more, I built 7 successful businesses over my time, an event that has not been recreated since, and I do more clients in a day/week than anyone I know.

I don’t care what you say about me. My proof is in the pudding. People have tried to discredit me. Lies upon lies. Stories created. Competition like no other. But guess what?

You can’t take from me what was mine. What was meant for me. And they can’t do it to you either.

God has many blessings for everyone. All you have to do to i

This piece of pizza brought you by a loving wife who didn’t let her husband give up on his dream of being a dough throwing pizza master.
Doesn’t this look straight out of a world renowned pizza restaurant?
My husband cooked that! With his own to hands.

All bc that one night he threw the biggest fit, I sat on that couch and told him “you’re not a quitter”. 🤣🫠🫶🏼

Chatting with my clients today.
Realizing I was raised more feminist, but I’ve turned more conservative.

For years I was the mom, the dad, the chauffeur, the chef, maid, disciplinary, cheerleader, and everything in between.

I realized I don’t want to wear the pants, I had to. No one was showing up to help me, save me or even spare me.
I am not bossy or controlling, I had to be in control. No one else was.

All the sudden I looked up and realized I have a team mate for the first time in my life. And he never even said a word. He didn’t convince me he could or would. He just did it.

Slowly but surely I have learned Dustin is naturally a protector and provider. He wasn’t used to someone letting him and I wasn’t used to a man stepping up.

Slowly but surely I have learned to trust and let go and he slowly but surely led. He didn’t force me, I didn’t force him.
Trust is earned. It’s built.

We don’t really have jobs or roles. We just take care of each other.
And these days I’m breathing a little easier. I’m relaxing a little more.

I’ve never really allowed myself to be loved, protected, or served. I’ve always been a do it myself and protect myself person bc I couldn’t trust.

But here I am. Slowly but surely.

And I tell you all of this women bc we have to stop thinking it’s our job. We have to stop picking weak men. We have to be secure in our kingdom role and be secure in our husbands kingdom role.
It’s not weak. It’s strong.

Strong women are good mothers and better wives. They are faithful and fearless. They are a team mate not the leader.

Don’t wait 47 years to figure that out. Raise your daughters to find safety and security so they never have to be that on their own.

Family unit matters. Stop letting society tell you different. ❤️